It’s that time of year again. Yes, it’s time to gather with family, overindulge a bit and grab some sorely needed down time.
But it’s also the time of year to look back, reflect, and use the fruits of your reflections to lay a foundation for the new year.
I’d like to be your virtual reflection partner. After all, isn’t the hard work of reflection more enjoyable when it’s shared?
So here we go. Find a quiet comfy spot, grab a journal and a glass of whatever beverage you’d enjoy and settle in for a few minutes of reflection. I’ll be right there with you.
Reflect on Resilience
First, take a few minutes to think back over the past year. Pay particular attention to the times where you felt really challenged, like you weren’t sure how to move forward or whether you even could. Maybe an important relationship was frayed. Or you had an unexpected personal or professional setback. These don’t need to be big, just times when you needed to pull out that staying power and carry on.
Jot down what gave you strength and a sense of purpose. It could be the love of people in your life, the way in which your actions aligned with your greater purpose, or just sheer stubbornness. Get crystal clear about those qualities and how you were able to draw upon them even when things felt impossible.
Those are your “go to” qualities that helped you navigate the year…and the qualities you will be able to rely on when new challenges arise. Make sure you capture those in writing so you can look back when you find yourself in a similar place again.
Learning from Setbacks
A recent Hidden Brain podcast looked at the belief captured in the trope, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That seems to be a prevailing cultural belief but is it accurate? The podcast examines that question and concludes that no, it’s not inevitable that people will get stronger from suffering and trauma. While there is evidence that suggests people who experience adverse events increase compassion, empathy and prosocial behavior, “trauma alone does not produce wisdom and compassion, it’s how you process it.”
As you reflect on the experiences of the past year, and particularly those you experienced as failures or setbacks, what meaning or lessons do these experiences offer? It can be hard to reflect on that question when you’re in the thick of the experience. Once time has gone by it can be easier to gain perspective.
I find that journaling is a helpful tool for processing painful experiences. Sometimes I can do that in the moment, but often the learning gains clarity after time has passed. I like to be able to go back to journal entries that capture the “in the moment” emotion and reread them as if it had happened to a different person. This practice has saved me thousands of dollars on therapy over the years!
Setting Intentions for Growth
This time of year, we often review our goals from the previous year and set new goals. I don’t know about you but invariably I fail to achieve some of my goals. This year, I may try something different: setting intentions rather than goals for 2024. Intentions are more about the process of growing as a human being than they are about achievement. Even if you have achievement goals, you might also consider what qualities do you want to develop in yourself as a result of pursuing this achievement? How can you make your life more meaningful and fulfilled?
Ok, be honest: did you really find a cozy spot and write down your answers to those questions? Remember, I’m right there with you! If you read my questions and thought, “Give me a break, I’ve got shopping to do, gifts to wrap, and I’ve gotta find something to wear for that party this weekend,” I completely understand.
But I assure you, there will never be a perfect time to reflect on these questions. And when the next setback or challenge comes along, you’re going to want to bring them readily to mind. That’s why I’ve done the heavy lifting for you. I’ve created a worksheet you can print out and jot down your thoughts.
Happy holidays!
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